Day 20

I'm back home today afternoon...

Today is daddy's birthday!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY:):)

Today drive back alone again because my friend got something else to do and i'm rushing home to meet up with my ji mui Amanda!!!We went pyramid for lunch and shopping after that...

My mummy bought a "durian cake" for daddy and we helped daddy to celebrate his 49th Birthday....Me and brother bought a present for him too...Although is just a small celebration but it do means a lot to me!!!It's been some time i really spend time with them and also celebrate birthday together in my family because now i studying in Kampar and we seldom can celebrate together!!!!I feel so warm and sweet being with with them...I know i did many things that they dun like it but they still forgive me and support me....THANKS a lot to daddy and mummy!!!I Love You both Always!!!^.^

After celebrate, nothing much i did and i'm just wasting time sitting infront of my lappy and online....Chat with my friends which seldom talk and i really missed those days we always hang out together....Still remember we always go Kim Gary in Sunway like almost everyday during weekdays....LOLx....even the waiters also can recognize us and asked us "oh,you are here again..."...that time really paiseh lor....but we as the customer lar...we got our right to go there lar~~~~:D:D i seriously missed those days and how i wish the time can turned back to those days with them....Even though most of us are single but we really had a good time being together and support each other.....I still remember that time I spend almost all my time hanging around with them....I missed them....A LOT!!!!!:(:(

I dun like the current me and environment that i need to deal with....Everything is just so complicated and i'm just too weak to accept and faced it......Everything seems to be complicated the day we grow up...day by day....we need to settle many things....we need to tolerate.....we need to care....we need to love....we need everything....No matter what happen we still need to deal with it.....It's really tiring....It's really hurts....But we got no choice....We still gotta stay strong.....and me....i'm tired and can't handle it for long anymore......Everyone says i'm getting emo lately....unlike the 2 semester before.....They feel sad to see me being like that and i know i dissapointed them a lot...but they still not give up on me...they will still support me no matter what decision i make....I really appreciate....I know they treat me good....Maybe i'm the stubborn type of person who did not like to listen to ppl's advice....I choose my own way to go....and all i hope is support from them.....I know they will be there for me....*thanks guys*

Wondering what happen on me being so moody every night.....I just can't describe the feeling when i'm alone in them room or when i'm in front of my lappy...Every time when i see my lappy....i will start to think of those days....which until now i still not brave enough to faced it......T.T......i really dun know how long this time i will take....i'm helpless....i'm scare.....I wish there are someone who is there for me....I suddenly feel myself being so weak and not as strong as those days.....Everytime i will easily get hurt or moody when i saw something that i cannot accept or know something that i dun willing to know.....I know it is really none of my business....but i just can't help myself from crying.....My tears couldn't stop and i wish he know it....but the more i cried...He will still remain in his place and continue with his life.....He didn't want to know what happen on me....I have no right to force him from knowing but I'm out of ways to let him know that i actually want the love and care from him so badly....I guess this is the second time i fall deeply....and it really hard for me to pull myself back in this short time.....T.T......

My heart is bleeding....

I wish i'm still the one for you....

I hope you are still the one I looking for.....

I know it's hard....

I think i gonna break down soon.....

I just need you beside me

until 

I learn how to walk out myself one day......

Enough for today...Nights....