I just need another chance....

Too many things happen and i cant even use any word to describe my feelings...
Finally i fall sick....and yet i dun have appetite to eat and insomnia again...
This is not what i wish for but i just can't control myself from thinking...
This time, i really fall deeply towards him...
For the very first time...i did many stupidity stuff because of him....
For the very first time...i feel so hurt and cannot control myself to do such " thick face" stuff....
For the very first time...i still believe him no matter how hurt am I....
I know i'm stupid and not worth it as what i told my frens...For the very first time i did my choice and decide every single action that i wanna do...without listening what my frens told me...
They are tired of listen and advice me...
But i still not tired of giving up....
What's the wrong with me????
Every single thing that i do i will think of him...
Every single word from him i still can clearly remember...
Every single stuff he wanted or like i still try hard to get for him...
I dun even feel like spending for myself...just because i wanna get something that he wanted...
I know i no need to show off telling everyone how many things i did just for him...
BUT, if i dun say it out....will he know all bout tis???will he even bother to know all these????
I can't care much on what other people think of me and him...
I just wanna do my best...
I just wanna show the sincere and care from me....
Its hard to move on but i am still trying to be brave and stand up....
I can't afford to lose him...
I can't afford to be alone...
I can't afford to go on with my life by myself...
I can't afford to do things without the support from him...
Yes. just think that i'm selfish...
I do not want to care...
I just wanna try to change things and work things out...
DEAR,
I just wanna be with you!!!
I don't want anything but just you!!!!
PLEASE dun leave me alone...