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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Day 3

Today is really a moody day...been thinking of lots of thing and also cannot concentrate in doing things......Can't sleep well last night and today fell asleep in class during Stat class....><"

Not in the good mood and it really get me in trouble all the day long.....Just dun like this kind of situation and this kind of moody mood but i have no choice!!!I can't get myself to stop thinking of every single possible happens to happen next....I really hope to leave here and back to my home*sob sob*

I know i'm just no one to angry or jealous or even question him anything....But i just can't help myself to involve in his life.....I really can't stop myself from thinking and thinking and thinking about those problems....I know i believe in him but you know lar...girls are always sensitive and thinking too much when comes to some "problems"....I did think from his side, but yet i still cannot control myself from being rational and calm when i saw what i saw....

I know he definitely will be angry at me this time...I do not know what can be explained this time....I just feel like ignore and run away from this kind of situation....How i wish he can really understand how i feel...how i wish he will not angry at me...but somehow,i know it's hard for him to accept me from doing such stupid thing....Trust doesn't mean that there will be no misunderstanding...again....blindly trust a person can also lost the direction of which way should i go now~~~

I'm not saying that I feel suffer and not blaming others because this is my own decision from the start!!!!No matter what others think, i just listen and take it as a reference....I still have my own decision and opinion....that's why i wanna go through what i'm going to do now....I choose to be this way and I choose to stay...I really dun feel any regret and I can surely say i will still stay!!!!

I dun know what shall I say this time or explain anything....things gonna turn into a mess because of my action....I apologize of my stupid act but at the same time i still feel hurt seeing those kind of things.....I have no choice to turn back and walk the other way...I dun wanna give up so easily now....I dun wanna make things more complicated....I dun wanna see you angry at me.....I dun wanna suspect anything.....I just wanna be with you and stay with you...I just wanna you to be honest to me and I just wanna you to care of me......When shall all this things stop and end??????I can't support myself for long anymore......!!!!!!!!T.T...

Today is just the 2nd day of class but i already feel stress and tired....too many things need to be done and too many decision and work need to be solve!!!!!!!Can i have extra 24hours per day so that i can complete everything?????....OH gosh...i hate short sem!!!!!!!!!!*sufferingofthisshortsem*

Luckily, tml my class will be a little late than mon and tues....now i shall continue my work and in the same time i also waiting for his call/reply.....I know i'm thinking too much and asking too much....but i just can't help myself to think of him and miss him day by day....If he do not wanna contact wif me...i will still wait....i know i'm wrong and i hope he will forgive me again!!!!:(:(


really missing you lots...T.T

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