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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Dear LORD, I am lost in somewhere....

Working life seems to be challenging each and every day.... There's so many things happens in a sudden whereby I still couldn't figure it out what is right and wrong! I am feeling so uncertain and lost because I didn't know which way should I go now and where can I stay now.....

Yesterday ( Friday ), was a really disappointed day of me being teaching for quite some times..... I really dun know whether it's my problem or what.... I dun know how should I faced it and how can I go on with it already! I thought I tried my best and I thought I was given a good chance to learn more to be a better teacher....Unfortunately, I am wrong! wrong! wrong!!!! I can hardly understand what's in the parent's mind nowadays and did they ever notice that the core problem is actually from them?????

I am really heartbreaking.... and yet I still pretending that I am strong and tough enough to handle it! I pretend to be good and happy in front of people, even my close ones.... I just dun like them to worried about me and I dun like them saying me wrong and justice that I am the one who is wrong in the first place. They did it always because I usually dun really explain the whole stories. What they knew is just partial from the stories. Yet I didn't want to tell everything bad from the others. All I can do is by blaming myself for not being so good in my career! I guess I am just a deep failure in it.......

I didn't know what I can do....My mind is confusing and I am thinking hard to get the best for myself. Now what? Should I just give up this and find a permanent job? Should I continue and suffer like this??????~ 

Luckily my ji muis, Peng and Amanta was always there with me when I'm down and emotional..... We went to Sunway Pyramid again for lunch and then shoppings! WOW! I spent RM200+ in only just 5 minutes without thinking much.....and in total, I spent around RM 300 in a day to cheer up myself!!!!~ Gosh, I know I am a shopaholic always because most of my money spent in buying clothes and accessories!!!! AHA, who cares rite? As long as I'm happy with it!:P

Went to my old primary classmate's birthday in her center. Met old friends, long lost friends, Secondary friends, F6 friends and also new friends! I love this kind of environment that we can always get to gather with each other and talk about our old times..... How nice and memorable to mentioned back about what's happened on us at the past.....*TEEHEE*  As least, I did spent my time with adorable friends! =)

Last but now least, I would like to thanks to Tong and the "HE" who talked to me and give advice to me in solving my problems. I never think that "we" could talk back again like this and I still can clearly remember this kind of feelings between US last time! Oh well, I didn't meant anything and all I wish is hoping u can be the one that I can talked to when I'm in trouble. At least, after talking to u makes me feel really good and cooling down!*Arigato*

I know everything is gonna be fine soon and I will always work hard to achieve my dreams!!!!!! Tata!!xoxo

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