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Wednesday, June 6, 2007

i dun know why!!~

feel so tired lately...dun know why!!~ luckily today can have a rest at home...zzz...
these 2 days....cant imagine tat i went to the same place....PYRAMID...again!!!....mon after giving tuition went there wif lee peng....atcually we went there to buy present for our friend's birthday lor...so...at last....i spent quite alot for tat day....i bought a cloth for myself in MNG...then...present for my friend n oso a present for my student...=)....
yesterday....i went there again wif kit mun for lunch...then...after dat i ask my pet bro to find me there...so....we went to play POOL...hehehehe....althought im a noob...xD...
finally today can rest at home ady...tonite gotta go my student's birthday party!!!aiks...im affraid tat...it will be bored...zzz....but anyways...hope tat i can have fun lar!!^^
hrm....tml gotta watch movie wif my pet bro....hehehe...tis is the 1st time he ajak me oni....cuz...be4 tat...everytime we hang out...he surely will ask his friend along too....so im looking forward for tml....=)
hrm.....im so dissapointed tat.....the 2 days i went to pyramid.....we cant even meet lor....T.T....aiks...look like we really dun have fate liao.....not like last time....almost everytime i went there...i will met him....zzzz....i really dun know wat's on my mind now!!!....im kinda confusing again because i feel tat the feeling towards him seems to change again...i dun know why these happens again??!!!....wat should i do??!!!!!!!GOD....plz HELP me!!!!!

Sunday, June 3, 2007

cant sleep..zzz..

OH MY GOD!!!...i dun know wat's wrong wif me now....i cant even have a nice sleep yesterday nite....my mind keep thinking of many many things....haizz....wat happen to me again???!!!
yesterday went pyramid...*KIM GARY* for dinner wif my family....aiks...tot can meet him there...but...TOO bAD n TOO laTE tat...he suddenly msg me n tell me he finished his work n went home liao....zzz....hrm....maybe we dun have fate bah!!...a little disspointed lor because really long long time nv see him liao...miss him so much....especially....these few days...lolx.....i guess....it's because we r getting better right now bah....so...i used to think ALOT...until...i cant concentrate in doing other things!!!...HIS FAULT lar....who ask him sms me 1st wor...lolx...still wanna blame ppl pulak...*doink*...
i still cant really know wat's on my mind now...juz feel confusing n complicated...lolx...sendiri cari pasal i think...xD...maybe...is because....lately got 2 ppl ask me to become his gf ler...i really dun know how to reject them!!!atcually....i DID...told them in a indirectly way....i think they should get wat i mean de lor...but...yet....still....they dun....GIVE UP...zzz....wat should i do??!!!*gosh*....2 ppl wanna me to give them a good answer oso....2 oso wanna me accept them...but seriously....im really SORRY tat...i cant even accept them because im not ready yet..!!!....hrmm...tis is one of the reason oni lar....i juz dun wanna hurt anybody anymore....in my heart...i still missing the person tat i do like all tis year...no one can give me such feeling like he do....unfortunately.....i dun think we got the chance to get back together....but...i still cant accept the others in the same time!!!plz.....forgive me!!!....i know im stupid...but....feeling is the most important thing for me...without dat....it's really hard to maintain a relationship lor...am i correct??.....wondering....hehe...
but anyway,im trying to find a chance to tell the 2 ppl honestly....bout my feeling n wat im thinking bout....althought i know tat they ady know the problem wif me...zzz.....juz hope tat....they will understand me n accept my desicion lar!!!i really dun wanna hurt their feelings....i can understand how does it feel....i experience it myself....so...i dun wanna other ppl to get hurt!!!
hrm....guess this cuming week i should be able to have a chance to meet HIM gua...hope tat we really get to meet each other lar~~^^...ohya...tml gotta give tuition ler...a little scary lar...cuz...im helping my friend for tml n oso tuesday...hopefully everything goes fine n well.....then....after tat....i will have the chance to hang out n shopping wif my friends lu!!!cant wait for tat now....xD....1 more week till school re-open....2 more week till i stop my work as a teacher......now im starting to miss those small lil kids liao.....im affraid tat i will drop my tears on the last day ler....really bu she de them!!!!hope tat next time we will have the chance to meet again....n oso hope they will remember me in their heart!!!=)...
gotta stop crapping liao...kekeekke...
TO BE CONTINUE!!!~
*muAXx*

Saturday, June 2, 2007

hrm...confusing??

dun know why i cant sleep tonite...long time dun have such problem liao lor...until tis nite...im still thinking of many things....sumthing is on my mind...tat i dun think i should think too much!!...but i cant stop my mind from thinking of tat thing!!zzz...i dun understand why i have tat kind of feeling again....i tot...everything was over...everything was settle...everything was going fine wif wat i had done.........but WHY?....why such confusing feeling comes again???!!!
these few days....i keep sms wif him.....suddenly....we became friends again....dun know why....we getting better after all things had happened...but....the feeling on me towards him nv change!!!im still missing him all the time...still thinking of him eventhough i know we cant be together again!!!....tat kind of feeling towards him really very special....cant even describe wif words...juz know tat kind of confusing n complicated feelings cum again....zzz....why these happens AGAIN?!!!
hrm....maybe i still care of him all the time...juz tat....before tat...i was always busy wif school stuff n seldom have the chance to think bout him....!...atcually...i admit tat i still have feeling towards him...but i know....he doesn't have tat kind of feeling towards me anymore!!!....quite sad atcually...but wat to do...im used to it ady!!!all this while....im juz keeping that kind of feeling inside my heart....im juz missing him quietly...without anyone realising....quite tough oso but...i juz dun know who can i tell...cuz my friends doesn't agree wif me all the while...=(.....so...i can oni keep it inside my heart.....i felt tired enuff of missing him....i dun know wat shall i do now anymore!!!!
i really feel happy when he willing to sms wif me n we chit-chatting for few days liao....is juz like...we r going back to time....1 year before....we knew each other.....until we together....until we argue....until we become strangers....until....now......1 year n few months oni....many many many things had happen on us!!!......but i still missing the day....we were together.....i still remember how we hang out together...how we start....how we even break up in school dat day!!!.....those kind of memories....cant even forget in my mind!!!...i really dun know WHY?!!
really hope next week can hang out wif him because he promise wan to cum my house n fetch me....i really wish the day to cum soon...haha....xD.....i hope we can have the feeling again...but i know it's oni my point of view....im the one who thinking TOO MUCH!!!....wat to do.....he really make me like him so deeply.....i juz dun know why will tis happen???.....it's kinda suffering oso because i gotta act tat im ok n i gotta pretend everything was over infront of him....im affraid....if....he know tat i still have feelings towards him...then....he will ignore me again....n we will....again....become STRANGERS!!!!i really dun hope tat kind of situation happens on US again!!!!so plzzz....i juz wanna be friends wif him n care of him.........i dun mind if he really treat me as one if his friend oni....all i wan...juz him to be HAPPY!!!!
i dun know wat will happen next....but...i really apprieciate the time we were together....really wanna thanks to him because i feel the happiness when im wif him!!!...those sweet memories....is unforgettable for me.....will keep in my heart n my mind till i die~~
really hope tat one day i got the chance to say "THANK YOU" to him....hope we can be forever good friends!!!^^...wish him happy n hope he found his love one soon....=)